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moi** ----------------------------------------------------------------- when you're alone and the world seems to hurry just listen to the music of the city and linger on the sidewalk. |
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irvineprisilia** wondering around books, music, and movies trying to capture the world on her tiny spinning mind.
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road with no end... Ketika jalan menjadi tanpa ujung. Ketakutan selalu menyergap ketika kita dihadapkan pada jalan yang tak berujung, yang tidak kita ketahui kapankah akan ada akhirnya, dimana kita harus berbelok, atau harus terus berjalan. belum lagi berbagai hambatan di jalan tak berujung itu yang harus kita temui. ketakutan menancapkan cakarnya dalam-dalam, seolah belum cukup mengerikan dengan hanya memunculkan bayangannya. takut, sepi dan tak ingin sendirian. jalan benar-benar tak menunjukan tanda-tanda bahwa ujungnya siap menyambut. jalan masih panjang. sama seperti perjuangan kita melawan segala ketakutan, menelusuri jalan. jalan tak berujung. jalan hanyalah sebuah jalan. suatu ketika harus menjumpai akhirnya. jalan tak berujung mungkin tidak menyenangkan. dan mungkin tak akan pernah jadi menyenangkan. tetapi kita harus tetap menjalaninya sampai akhir. karena kita semua adalah ksatria. yang tidak takut menghadapi apapun yang menghadang. karena kita adalah ksatria, yang telah membunuh harimau dalam diri kita. 04Jan05 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- HAPPY CLASSIC BIRTHDAY! A classic birthday it was i had, just like another birthday i used to have. having birthday celebrated on new year was not as much fun as people thought. everybody demanded a big party or at least doesn't want to be alone on the night we leave the past year and welcome the coming year on this last birthday, i was imagining in my mind that i was alone, contemplating to myself, put what i had done wrong and abandon that and thinking to develop things i had done good. and i really just want to be alone. and i think i already got time for myself alone. but my birthday was ended up as few past years before, my best bud came to pick me from my contemplating, took me to place where my other friends were. so they were congratulated me, splashed some water onto my body, and colored my face with some paint. just like usual. and i also had some other best friends who couldn't be with me congratulated me thru phone. still classic feeling too i had. not happy nor sad. still wanted too much somehow. even though i know what i got wasn't just a classical one. so i think that was a bad thing i should abandon in my new age. because it is me who has to congratulates myself for my birthday. and as a present from myself to me is a promise to be a better irvine next year, a tougher one, a celebrated one! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME for the last time. 1jan05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
And
if the night runs over :: in a deep condolences for south east asia and nad::
26Dec04 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- :: And an angel descended where they were and the glory of the Lord shone all about them:: -Luke 2:9- If some people don't believe in God existence then i will be on the other side, i really do believe in God that God is all around us, taking good care of us thru our guardian angels. lately i was thinking how bad my life was. and i just see all the world in the color grey, but one day i decided to let everything flow and just keep on smiling, facing the fact that my life was totally messed. and suddenly it was like i became more sensitive than i was before. i see that life cant be that bad. i still got my family who still cares, friends who always be there and books and movies that talk a lot of the secret of the universe to me, and a home in my heart, even though my home is not ready to be lived by me now. everything has been written and it's now our duty to walk on our path and listen to our heart, cause that's where our true eyes are, eyes that see the angels that guard us thru this life. from my favorite author Paolo Coelho on "The Valkyries" When God wants to drive a person insane, he grants that person's every wish. 23dec04 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- merry sorry xmas! just like my best friend, maudy who stucks up on her single life and broke so do i here, broke and single! maybe when she gets in Jakarta we will rob ATMs together in perfect despair, huhh!! but the most ironic thing is my love one is going to Malaysia, spending his money on holiday...oh darling! how i wish to be you! but i think he deserves a nice and cozy free days on his own, remembering the way he always worked so hard. sometimes we need to pamper ourselves out of this hectic life, and oh darling, you so deserved that! coz i was a pretty lazy lady while you were working as hard as a horse could and i was a clumsy brain on considering the steps but you were so precisely on your steps. enjoy you holiday! 18dec04 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- le mots le fatale! how words can be a fatal mistake, no wonder there's a phrase in bahasa indonesia that said : berjalan pelihara kaki, bicara pelihara kata. Huhh!!i was having trouble with what I am saying by words. because different person means different mind, different way of thinking! that's why it is a human right to speak out loud what you have on your mind in order to not get misunderstood. pyuhh God, may I say, please take care of my words because with or without me realizing what i was saying, I might hurt people by those. 17dec04 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned" ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND how can we erase someone from our heart? have you ever too much in love with someone that you cannot let them go? well, I think to let go someone you love need lots of courage, it wouldn't be as easy as we ever thought. So, it's okay to cry a river or even a sea, to go mad, to tell everyone how hard it was, or to keep asking a lot why they had to leave us when you have to let go someone you love, because one day, you will tired of asking, crying or going mad. because it will never be easy to erase someone from our heart...human being. 11dec04 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- PRIA DIJAJAH WANITA ...kaimsasikun wanita dijajah pria atau pria dijajah wanita? kalau lelaki berdandan, belanja terlalu banyak, pakai baju lebih dari kadarnya, memanjangkan rambut lalu dipotong bergaya, memakai wewangian, berbicara dengan lembut, berkulit halus dan mulus, tidak bisa menyetir, tidak mengantarkan perempuan pulang, tidak membayar pada saat kencan, tidak bisa mencari uang dengan baik, tidak mau mengalah pada perempuan, suka ngobrol terlalu banyak, mencuci rambut atau creambath di salon, menyukai warna-warna soft atau pastel, suka makan rujak, dan lain-lain...bagaimana reaksi kebanyakan perempuan atau lelaki lain? kalau perempuan berdandan, belanja terlalu banyak, pakai baju lebih dari kadarnya, memanjangkan rambut lalu dipotong bergaya, memakai wewangian, berbicara dengan lembut, berkulit halus dan mulus, tidak bisa menyetir, tidak mengantarkan lelaki pulang, tidak membayar pada saat kencan, tidak bisa mencari uang dengan baik, tidak mau mengalah pada perempuan lain, suka ngobrol terlalu banyak, mencuci rambut atau creambath di salon, menyukai warna-warna soft atau pastel, suka makan rujak, dan lain-lain...bagaimana reaksi kebanyakan perempuan atau lelaki lain? kalau saya sih setuju sama kata Simone de Beauvoir : "I don't wish woman to have power over man, but over themselves" jadi feminis itu baik, tapi menjadi penjajah pria? atau merasa dijajah pria?aih... 12dec04 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- IS GOD REALLY DEAD? Once you cant appreciate little things you have in life, then youll always have jealousy on big things people have in their lives. and I am sometimes being the one who always think low of me. When I achieved something I sometimes thought that, that was not a big thing, not even a thing, and when I saw someone good, then I see myself as dust. That was really bad, and sometimes I still think that way. am I going to be next Nietzsche? Why? Coz every time I feel that way, I became so humanist, thinking that all I did was all mines, forgot abt the power of God, forgot abt the way He works. I only remember the way I worked, and that was never put in a word ENUFF. Well dear God, forgive me my trespasses, my insanity. You're not dead that I believe. Nobody is perfect, coz when we are perfect then we are not. When we are perfect we just a puzzle that completed ourselves, no need other parts. When we were holistic, we were too much. So, how beautiful we are with our "not so good" lives. Lâ'eau ra jcas de couleur alors Le monde est beau! 26june04
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unreachable!!!!!!
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